For Coughing's Sake

So, on 26 April, I posted on to Facebook the question: "is it possible to cough so hard that you cough yourself out of "phase" with the rest of your world?"  I was curious.  I think that I also asked: "Have I slipped into a different timeline like I am a cast member from Star Trek?  Do I now live in an alternate universe?  I blame the Fake Flu.  It's just as bad as the Fake News."  As I had as an official diagnosis, Influenza Like Illness.  I know the doctor made that up on the spot.  Oh, and in spite of what anyone will tell you, Fake Flu is far worse than Fake News.

Anyway, on May 16th, I mentioned on Facebook that I had started a journey aimed at solving my "soul" dilemma.  I'm pretty sure that I began with the talking to folks and that one particular "spiritual leader" had a "shoe horn" of sorts that I could use to help me in my moment of need.  I ultimately decided to forgo that gentleman's kind assistance, and simply went with a tether approach, as I could easily hang on to my soul like a helium balloon.  

However, it was on that posting that a friend of mine suggested that I should use a birdcage.  The idea intrigued me, and so I gave a great deal of thought to the idea.  After all, it would alleviate the troubles I had the previous weeks.  You see, my tether got "caught up" in a lot of things, overhead electrical wires or bus doors.  All was fine, however, until we came to the company picnic about a couple of weeks ago.  You see, I got stuck in some low lying tree branches, which, by itself, was bad, but not a huge problem.  Suddenly, everyone decided to jump in to assist me.  Food went everywhere, and landed anywhere.  The ensuing tangle caused a huge embarrassment to the company when pictures of the scene made the local paper.  And then, there was the matter of pomegranate juice and ketchup.  The poor Human Resources gal won't ever be the same...and neither will her blouse, I'm afraid.

So, after that, I decided that a birdcage would be a good solution.  Trust me when I say, that there was huge amount of consideration put into the planning.  There was the matter of the correct material and manner of construction for the cage.  I also decided that it would be advantageous for me to have an assistant in the construction, so as to maintain the proper placement of material.  Of course, the biggest impediment to my project was finding the right person for the job.  It took at least three days for me to find a person who would not laugh directly into my face, let alone someone who could look me straight faced.

Currently, I am about half way through the build.  I have only singed my eyebrows once, and expect my eyelashes to grow back on to my eyelids within a week.  Will keep you informed.